The first blip

Morning weigh-in Sunday: 366.6 pounds (+1.6 pounds)
Morning weigh-in Monday: 367.8 pounds (+1.2 pounds)

I was a bit chuffed at this at first, but there are a couple good reasons for this gain:

1) I felt really dehydrated and drank a TON of water over the weekend.
2) I ate like a pig.

I had a big serving of thai noodles and shrimp Saturday night, then we watched football and ate sandwiches and pizza all day yesterday. I even had a Tim Horton's cookie (ginger and molasses, damned good).

So it wasn't a good weekend, but I learned something (besides don't weigh yourself every day, but as I think you can read, I'm not too discouraged by that). I think for the time being, my better days will be work days, when I have nothing but whatever is in the store. I can live with that.

Off to the grind.

The late night

Morning weigh-in: 365.0 (-.4 pounds)

So I stayed up for a while last night -- 2 a.m., to be exact. Guess what happens when you stay up late?

You eat. I ate some peanuts, some pretzels and drank some soy milk. I'm not too bummed about it, but it probably cost me a pound.

Oh, and I'm typing this at 6:35 p.m. EST -- how about them Seahawks?!? I think I might be the only guy in the civilized world who picked Seattle over the Saints.

On the third day

Morning weigh-in: 365.4 (-3 pounds)

Someone will have to explain to me how I can weigh myself at night (just for the heck of it) and be 365.4, then wake up in the morning, have a shower and ... uhhh ... my morning constitutional ... and still weight 365.4? Did I absorb a bunch of water in the shower? Is my waste weightless? Did someone sneak in the house and dump pancake syrup down my throat?

I want answers!!!

Today's menu:

(2) COFFEES
(1) can A&W root beer
(1) serving fireside pie (look it up, but it was the Zehr's brand and DAMN was it good)
(2) cheese cannelloni
(1) piece garlic bread
(1) serving roasted zucchini
(1) small bowl maple mini-wheats with soy milk

Again, not a bad day, I don't think. I'm sipping a Diet Coke to finish off the night as I type this, but I'm amazed how much better I feel already in just a few days of no chocolate, fried stuff, etc. I'm not at a point where I can get out and do a little running (my knees are bad enough at is it), but I don't think I'm too far off.

Morning weigh-in

January 6th: 368.4 (down 1.2 pounds)

So through a process of extrapolation, I'll be at my target weight by May. Ha.

Have to say I'm pretty happy with the first real day, aside from the buttery popcorn right at the end. I don't think I would have had anything else, but my wife and I were watching Jim Gaffigan and all he talks about is food. Damn you, Gaffigan! If you haven't seen his special "Beyond The Pale," watch it. It's available on NetFlix and well worth the hour you'll invest.

I also don't know why the hell I ever eat popcorn. Yeah, it's great, but the hours you spend after you've finished licking at your teeth to get the damned stuck stuff out? I think I'm going to class it with crab legs from here on out -- delicious, but not worth it.

Today's food (edited the following day):

(1) COFFEE
(1) small cappuccino
(1) Lean Cuisine (or some such thing) chicken pesto penne

and that's it. Not much time for eating, to be honest.

From the top

So this morning after not getting to sleep until 4:30 a.m. (Cate has a wicked bum rash), I rolled out of bed a little past eight and headed downstairs for the weigh-in. Here are the results:

Weight: 369.6 pounds
Height: 6 feet
Waist: 50"
Age: 40
Sex: Yes, please

I actually weighed in last night at around 373 pounds, so that has me a little thrown, but we'll start with a nice morning scale tipping and go from there.

Today's grub:

(1) XL Tim Horton's Coffee (two milk, three sugar), in the future referred to as THE COFFEE
(1) big chicken Ceasar's salad from Zehr's half-off bin with two lo-cal dressing packs
(2) strawberry whole-grain bars
(1) stinkin' root beer
(2) open-faced roast beef and cheese broiler sandwiches (not crazy big or anything)
(2) cups potato salad (I'm guessing -- like I'm going to dirty measure cups to figure out how much potato salad I ate)
(some) popcorn with butter

No, I don't know how many calories that is, and I don't care. I do know it's a hell of a lot less than I would normally eat in a day. Yay me.

The coffee story:

I decided a few days ago I was going to stop drinking coffee. I don't make it at home or at work, but a couple big Timmie's a day with the fixings was probably something I could cut out without too much trouble -- or so I thought.

I quit on Wednesday last week, and by Thursday afternoon I had a smoking migraine. Normally I get them with just vision issues (still no fun, but nothing compared to the troubles my wife has), but this was almost incapacitating. I woke up Friday with almost no energy to anything except trot back and forth to the bathroom, which reminds me that we need to get some new magazine subscriptions.

Saturday through Tuesday, I still felt like a sack of crap. Lethargic, still not keeping food in my system -- but no idea it was linked to the lack of caffeine. Finally yesterday afternoon my wife mentioned it and I went to get a coffee. Within 90 minutes I was almost completely back to normal.

Even today just having about four hours of sleep and one coffee, I feel 100x better than I did for the past week. Moral of the story? You can cut calories, but don't fuck with Juan Valdez.

See you later tonight or tomorrow.

Here You Come Again ...

That sounds like the title to a bad porno, but here I come again, this time past 40 years old and still trying to find some way to get my weight under control.

Was it the New Year's that did it for me? Nope, it's not a resolution. It had much more to do with me trying to kick coffee and getting really, REALLY ill for a few days. So, if you're already not eating much and feeling like crap, why not go all the way, huh?

I even went out and bought one of those Biggest Loser scales that figures out your percentage to goal and all that stuff (for those not good with fractions, I guess). I've never seen an episode of the show, but I hear Rulon Gardner is going to be on it this season, so maybe I'll tune in.

I'll try to keep this more faithfully with a list of foods eaten, a daily weight and whatever I find to bitch about from day to day.

That shouldn't be too hard at all.

I'm still here ...

I'm sure no one was wondering, but my big ass is still alive. If you have a look at my little diet chart, you'll see a peak and drop. Here's the explanation:

My first 12-week Biggest Loser Challenge ended two Tuesdays ago. No, I didn't win any prizes or money. Some dude in my class dropped more than 60 pounds in three months off of a 270-pound frame. Saunas and protein shakes, apparently.

Anyhow, I ended up losing about 26 pounds in the 12 weeks, and I was very happy with both the results and the regimen. I looked better, I felt better, my pants kept falling down -- what more could you ask for?

But, I kept wondering -- what would happen if I decided to going back to eating the way I had a few months ago? A buffet every third night, snacking before bedtime, generally always having something terrbile for me around?

So I did it.

For one solid week, I ate like the old Frazer. We had AYCE fajitas and Chinese (not at the same time, of course). I had hamburgers and fried chicken. I tore it up.

And by the end of the week, I felt like crap. We went to CostCo on the Monday night before my next 12-weeks sessions started, and where I normally would have been fired up to jam a hot dog and poutine down my gullet, I just felt ... sick. I was ready to get back on the beam.

And now I am. I gained back five pounds in the week, but in the first week of the Challenge, I lost 6.6 pounds. Net gain of a pound and a half? I'll take it?

And I feel better. I'm sleeping well again, my energy level is up, and I don't feel like I need a nap at 2 p.m. every damned day.

I'm glad I did it. I feel refocused and refreshed, and even my coaches think it may not have been such a bad idea. We'll see how things go for the next 11 weeks, but I hope you are as geeked up about your goals as I am!

Happy losing!

A few days away ...

Okay, so I haven't been around very much in the past week.

My weigh-in Tuesday evening went about as expected, with me dropping 1.4 pounds for the week. I'm still happy with that considering I had forgotten my protein shakes and bars for work a couple of days in a row and ate ... UNAUTHORIZED STUFF!

We just spent a couple of days away at a water park in southern Ontario, where I developed a nasty case of swimmer's ear (now rectified thanks to a walk-in clinic, thankyouverymuch). My unwillingness to eat while I was basically seasick for two days will hopefully offset the breakfast buffet I splurged on. It should -- the buffet was pretty craptacular.

The past two days have been back on track, with turkey sandwiches and water galore. I'm even getting in my stretching now, which isn't doing anything for my back yet, but we'll keep hoping.

More tomorrow, when I plumb the depths of my passenger seat trash heap!

Damn it

So, after all the talk about being a good boy and going into an all-you-can-eat sushi place with a plan, I ate too much.

In my defense, both my daughter and my wife decided they didn't want very much after we ordered our second round, and as with most AYCE sushi places, you get charged if you leave a bunch of stuff on the table. Diet or not, I'll be damned if I'm paying someone $10 to scrape good rolls into the scrap bin.

So yes, I'm pissed at myself, and yes, I probably should have seen it coming. But welcome to fighting your weight, right?

Probably the best moment of the night: Just when I had finished, I looked across the table at my wife and said, "Well, I guess I'm done with this diet." She immediately started telling me not to give up and that it was just one night before I could say I was kidding.

But I thought it about afterward, and she was right to assume I was serious. In the past, that would have been it. I would have thrown up my hands and said the whole thing was ruined (or ruinged, if you're Stewie Griffin).

But it's not. It's one stumble in a long race, and damn it, this morning it was a protein shake and a banana and we're back in stride.

I hope you all are as positive going into the weekend.

Man vs. sushi

It's my wife's birthday today, and she'd really like to have sushi at our favourite sushi place down the street. This would not normally good news on a diet, I don't think, but I have two big things going for me.

Firstly, this is an all-you-can-eat sushi joint. I know -- you just did the Scooby Doo double take, but hear me out. AYCE means I have a nice and unlimited supply of tuna and salmon sushimi. I can nibble at some bad menu items (sesame chicken, crab cakes), but go nuts on the raw fish without much regret.

Secondly, I have my newfound willpower. I went for sushi the first week of this diet, ate until I was full and still knocked it out of the ballpark. I'm not too scared I'm going to flip out and start grabbing tempura shrimp off the plates of my neighbors.

This place also has excellent miso soup and tofu goodies, so I'm really looking forward to this -- almost as much as my wife!

The third weigh-in

Just back from the third weigh-in. I didn't stick around for the meeting this evening, as I've been sick all week and my bad back is being extremely bitchy tonight.

Weight, Week 1: 373.6 pounds
Weight, Week 2: 364.4 pounds
Weight, Week 3: 360.2 pounds
Weight, Week 4: 357.4 pounds
Total Lost Thus Far: 16.2 pounds
Percentage of Body Weight Lost: 4.3%

Amazingly, the same guy who has been pacing the class dropped another 6.5 pounds this week. He only started at around 250 or so, so I'm not how he's doing it. He still has both his arms and legs, so that's not the secret. Good on him, though.

Made myself a nice big chicken breast and spinach salad with a little sherbet afterward and am settling in to watch the Toronto Maple Leafs drop another game.

Hope your week is going as well!

Thank God for Nyquil

After a couple of days with the worst sore throat I've ever had (worse even than the tonsilitis I used to fight as a kid before they got yanked out), my body is finally letting up on me.

I'm actually now able to talk on the phone without sounding like a pervert, and walk around the store without wobbling too badly. Hope things are good with all of you with your health.

My in-laws came last night and took our family out to dinner in advance of my wife's birthday. We hit our favourite local restaurant, where I would normally tuck in to a nice slab of prime rib and a piece of cheesecake afterward.

Instead, I had a delicious fillet of sole with scallops and mushrooms, a small baked potato and a little rice pilaf. Not quite as yummy as the prime rib (and little more butter than I would have liked), but still very satisfying. Surprisingly, I couldn't finish the rice -- my tummy must be shrinking.

I did hop off track for a fried dill pickle. I only ordered them because they're unusual in Canada and I wanted some of my family to try them. Reviews were mixed, but how can you poo-poo anything deep fried?

I also abstained from the chocolate mousse cake my mother-in-law brought. Instead, I had a protein shake made with chocolate soy milk and some strawberries, slammed some Nyquil and slept for 12 hours. Anyone know how NyQuil counts against your diet?

Back to the protein shake and banana this morning. Weigh-in in two more days!

A shake by any other name ...

As you may know, I'm in a weight-loss challenge that's tied to the Herbalife system. I bought both my original meal replacement shake mix and my extra protein powder from them.

Not surprisingly, it's much cheaper to buy other versions of both from your local supermarket or health-food store. What I'm wondering is -- are they exactly the same, or am I screwing up the delicate balance of Herbalife's plan by buying some cheaper imposter.

I'm still using their meal replacement stuff, but I bought the Joe Weider 90% Protein stuff, which was about half the price of the Herbalife product.

Any thoughts?

Is this good or bad?

I'm not feeling at all well today. I've picked up the flu, I suspect from one of the other people in my weight-loss challenge class. The guy was a bit of a close talker and after a couple minutes of conversation, he informs me he's sick as a dog and heading home.

Thanks.

So normally I'd look on this is having a bit of a bright side -- I'm completely not hungry. But the program has me taking in around 200 grams of protein a day. I've already done my morning shake and a protein bar, and I feel like I'm going to keel over.

Any thoughts on what I can eat that's high in protein and not too heavy?

Fat people need not enter

Budweiser holds a contest every year to see who can pull vouchers for rides on the Bud plane down to the Super Bowl. Neat contest, and you can some of the video from last year's trip right here.

Interestingly enough, however, the commercials never seem to feature anyone who isn't:

a) between 21 and 30 years old
b) rain thin
c) buy all their clothing from Hollister

Is this smart marketing by Budweiser? I mean, the average person who drinks Bud is not necessarily the svelte, younger type. Wouldn't it make sense to have a couple of fat guys in the back of the shot to at least let us know, "We won't take your tickets from you if you're a little overweight."

I guess not.